On a job, we hide our lack of productivity. On average, the 40 hours a week people spend 'on the clock' only yields about 30 hours of actual work. In a relationship, we hide our blemishes, mistakes, and sometimes even our betrayal. One small thing that we get away with turns into two more things and, very soon, our lives can be built on a pile of lies. Our arrogance increases and our attitudes turn bitter. Paranoia breeds in the secret interworkings of our private lives.
Isolated by our internal fears, we allow that isolation to physically manifest and control us. We turn to our phones instead of our partners. We turn to our books, our TVs, our consoles, our friends, concerts, parties, alcohol. Just to pull our thoughts away from the lies we've stuffed into the closet for a brief weekend or evening.
Inauthenticity creeps its way in, and we're nothing but fake, two-faced people. Without integrity, without authenticity, without true joy. It's difficult to trust someone we're close to with our secrets in a different way than it's hard to trust someone we hardly know. We tell ourselves, "I just don't want to hurt them." The truth is, we just don't have the nerve to display, in a vulnerable state, who we really are. We wonder if we can still be loved even after revealing our ugliest of uglies.
It's even harder to trust a job to keep you after you slip up. A lot of places will not give you a second, third, or even eighth chance. If you really cared about the job, you'd be there. Do your job well. Stop making mistakes. Our income, friendships with coworkers, even sense of purpose can be in jeopardy if we confess our mistakes to a manager, to HR, or to a coworker.
Isolated. Again. Again, because we're breaking trust and we want to live in our personal box. How do we get out of this box?
It takes one enormous leap of faith. We, with a choice between living in the shackles of our secrets or being truly free, must make the decision to tell the truth. Choosing to speak up when our emotions tell us to shut up can change our lives.
Instead of wanting to quit a job because I feel like I've let the company down with my hidden mistakes, I can be given a second chance to live up to my potential. Which, by the way, includes my ability to tell the truth.
Instead of wanting a new spouse or friend, we can experience amazing forgiveness, truth, and a real fresh start. Months or years of clouded misunderstandings and unnecessary frustrations can be avoided when we clear that fog with a simple confession to each other.
No one is in love unless they love all of you.
No one is more than just an employee until they've made a mistake and come back from it - for the company, an employee who moves on from their mistakes is much more valuable than an employee who rarely makes them and gives up when they finally do.
No one is successful until they've failed and admitted that failure. You can't learn from denial.
Admit your mistakes and find freedom from your inner secrets. Life's more fun that way.
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